Friday, April 20, 2012

It does get easier.

Being a mom the second time around is much different. It's not easier, but there is a confidence about how you feel and the decisions you make. I know what the cries mean, and I know what to do to.

Every child is different. I know this. I'm lucky to have 2 healthy little boys. With that said... It clicks. You remember. Your worry is different! I will always worry. It's my nature.

With Jake, everything made me nervous. I wouldn't even let family hold him without a whooping cough shot (thank you to my dear friends that also got one as well). Some nights when he was up late at night crying I thought I might have to take him into the ER to be looked at. When he ate I was always wondering if I gave him enough... And when he slept I watched him like a hawk.

It doesn't mean that I don't do this for my second baby. I just know what to do, with less hesitation. When Ash cries I can decipher what kind of cry it is. Is he clean? Is he fed? Does he have gas? Is he tired? Or simply does he want to be held? I know how to handle the situation, and it doesn't make me think I'm doing something wrong. I know to do all the above... but, sometimes when he would continue to cry I would blame myself and get frustrated.

I remember one night with Jake I just rocked him crying. I thought, "what am I doing wrong?", but, I wasn't doing anything wrong. I prayed for strength and for answers. The next thing I knew is I striped him down to his diaper, and fed him. I held him close to my skin, and he instantly calmed down. Not sure he was all that hungry... but, the closeness worked. Skin on skin. When you are calm and in control, they are too.

Jake was an awesome baby. Wasn't much of a sleeper... but, we got through it. He has been sleeping through the night and in his own bed since he was 6 months old. It's wasn't an easy process... but, it is done. He is happy, and he is thriving.

Asher is a much better sleeper. He naps throughout the day, and will sleep pretty well at night. His night feedings, put him right back to sleep... so, he isn't confused with day and night anymore. He still has mild gas, but even that is getting better... thank goodness!!! I knew that I was hyperlactating right away. I knew the way my milk was coming in, and I knew that Asher was getting full very fast. Since I experienced this with Jake, I again could devise a plan for it.

I know that generally babies of this age range have a "fussy" time. His time is around 7/8pm, just like Jake's was. Knowing this, I can prepare myself for the cry that means nothing. He's not hungry, he's clean, he's not tired, etc. He's just crying. And I'm OK with it. I rock him until he falls asleep... and it works. :)

I have lots of peace knowing that every week we have more of a routine with Asher. Meaning that things are falling into place with 2 kiddos only 17 months apart. Jake has been amazing. I know I say that all the time... But, he is so helpful. Even at 19 months old. On his way to bed he runs over to Asher and I and gives us kisses, and then chases Grant into his room, for stories, milk, and bed. He is so loving. This doesn't mean that he can't get wild during the day... it just means... when I'm at my most tired of the day, he knows how to pick me up. He reminds me how lucky I am to have my boys.

Yesterday, when Asher was crying... I laid him down on his floor gym, and he still fussed... Jake ran over from the other room, laid down next to Asher, hugged, and began talking to him... Asher stopped crying. I'M NOT KIDDING. I was shocked. It brought tears of joy to my eyes. Brotherly love. :)
It's a little fuzzy... I tired to snap a picture of them.
After his brother played them him. Totally happy and kicking!
I've read blogs (Huffington Post for example) about women saying your not real if your talking about how good your kids are or how happy you are and I don't agree. I do agree that some women feel this way... but, I don't. Even at my wits end with 2 kiddos crying... I still remind myself that this is temporary... and one day they will have their own lives. OMGosh... I'm getting emotional again. I soak in EVERY moment. Life is short, and unexpected. I stay thankful and humbled. I do my best.  My blogs are REAL. From a real woman, wife, mom, sister, and friend. We all have opinions... and this one is mine.

Enjoy your Friday!

1 comment:

  1. Yep, you definitely have more confidence the second time around. It's not easier since you have an extra little person to take care of, but easier in the sense that you know what you're doing. Then you realize, "Wow, I had it pretty easy when I only had one kid!" LOL.


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